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Title: Recovered Memories
Author: Meg
Fandom: Alias
Bunnies: #4 - Growing up / growing closer / growing apart / changes caused by time, #13 - dreaming, exhausted, stubborn, dark, "Don't need it.", #14 - flowers, floating, warm, sudden, "I want to.", #15 -tissues, light, sleepily, cozy, "Perhaps you do."
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None really except for one small scene from each of the following episodes: Salvation, Reunion and Conscious
Summary: Different dreams and memories that Sydney describes in various episodes, elaboraed.
Disclaimer: Plain and simple: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. The direct quotes and situations from the episodes above were written by the following people: Roberto Orci, Jeff Pinkner, Joss Appelbaum and Andre Nemal.

 

Recovered Memories 

Part I: Don't Frost the Pie

October, 2002

Sydney walked into the medical service office and saw several doctors are gathered around in a circle."You asked to see me?" She asked as the circle parted. 

One of the doctors in a crisp lab coat set his clipboard down and stuck out his hand. "Agent Bristow, I'm Doctor Nicholas."

"What's going on?"

"Five weeks ago you infiltrated one of your mother's laboratories in Taipei where you discovered a Rambaldi device. How long were you in proximity to the device?" 

Sydney was taken back. "I... it took me about a minute to rig it with explosives. I made it to the other side of the door but Vaughn was submerged. I don't know, maybe another minute or two. Will someone please tell me what's going on?" She asked, concerned. 

"We believe the device is the source of the virus that infected the men in Geneva. Unfortunately, you and Agent Vaughn may have been exposed. I'm sorry. We'd like to draw some blood and keep you under observation." He opened the clipboard and made a note. 

"If Sloane pages me, this is going to be a problem." 

"Your father's been informed. He's covering for you." He nodded to her and motioned for her to follow him. 

After having blood drawn, Sydney followed Dr. Nicholas to the isolation room she would be staying in until the test results came in. She was surprised to see Vaughn sitting on a T-shirt on the side of one of the beds. He looked up as the door opened and stood when he realized it was her coming to join him. Sydney, however stood in the doorway. 

"I know." Vaughn stated softly as Sydney moved out of the doorway and walked slowly to the bed to sit next to him. He put his arm around her as Sydney put her head on his shoulder.

****

March 22, 1981

"Is your mother gone yet?"

"Yep."

Jack tried his best to quietly retrieve his presents from their hiding place in the dryer. "Sweetheart, could come in the kitchen and help me?" He called as he shut the laundry room door behind him, gingerly carrying a bouquet of flowers in his arms.

"Yes, Daddy," Sydney ran from the living room to meet him.

"Okay, what do you think?" He asked and held out the flowers for his daughter to see. 

Sydney gasped, "Pretty!" 

"They are." He placed the flowers on the counter, lifted Sydney up, and placed her on a stool at the counter. He took the bouquet again and tilted it toward her so she could smell. "Do they smell good, too?" 

Sydney leaned in and put her nose into the bunch, "Smells pretty."

"Smells pretty, huh?" Jack then took a whiff of his own, "HuhEshoo!" He sniffed and rubbed his nose. 

"Ah-choo!" Sydney mimicked. 

Jack laughed and ruffled her hair, "So, you think Mommy will like them?" 

"Yep."

"Time for Operation: Make Mommy Happy then," he said and Sydney giggled."Okay, I think it's time to put these in water," he bent down and came up with a frosted-glass vase. "Want to fill it up with water for me?" Sydney nodded. "All right, come here then." He lifted her up so she could reach the sink then turned on the tap and helped her fill a cup full of water then pour it carefully into the vase. "Good job, Sydney," he said while placing her back on the stool.

Sydney watched as Jack went over to the counter and picked up a cherry pie. "Did you make that, Daddy?" She asked.

"No. Emily made it. Now," he said opening up the refrigerator and taking out a bottle of whipped cream, "we need this to go with it."

"No! Daddy don't frost the pie!" 

"What?" Jack laughed as he shook the bottle. "Why would I do that?" 

"When Sammy brought pie for his birthday to school he had frosting on it." 

"I thought frosting was only for cake?" He said, spraying the cream into an empty bowl. 

"I think so, too. It made the pie too sweet. It made me sick before I could finish my piece." 

"Oh no! Well, we won't put frosting on Mommy's pie then, will we?" Sydney shook her head. "This, however, is not frosting. Its whipped cream. And you can put it on your piece if you want to but it's mainly for...these." He put a bowl of strawberries that had been in the sink drying from being washed on the counter in front of Sydney. "You like strawberries and whipped cream, don't you?" The little girl nodded enthusiastically. "I thought so." 

They both heard the front door open and the sound of footsteps on the hardwood floor in the hall. "Sweetie, I'm not quite ready yet so why don't you go say hi to Mommy and keep her out for a minute, all right?" Sydney nodded again and jumped off the stool and ran to greet her mother. 

I the next room, Jack could hear his daughter talking animatedly about her day while he quickly tried to get things set the way he wanted them. He hid the pie, strawberries and cream in the back of the fridge. Next he moved the flowers from the counter to the table where he had the placing set for a family dinner later that night. "Ehh-Choo! Ahh-Chishoo!" He covered his nose, hoping his family didn't hear. 

"Jack, what are you doing in there?" Laura asked from the next room. 

Damn her good hearing. Jack thought as he arranged the flowers in the arrangement they had been in before the move. "North-eh-nothing, honey." He quickly got out before he had to sneeze again. "Ahh- Chishoo! ehh-Choo! Ahh-Chishoo!" Damn flowers. He sniffled and stood back to make everything was in place. 

Once he was satisfied that everything was set he joined his wife and daughter in the living room. Sydney was lying on her stomach coloring a picture and Laura was sitting on the couch watching. "Hi, honey." Laura said, standing to meet her husband. 

"Happy birthday, Laura." Jack said followed by a kiss. 

"What could you have been doing in the kitchen that could have been making so much noise?" She laughed and touched his cheek. 

"Hmm...You'll just have to wait and find out..."He trailed off suggestively causing Laura to break into laughter again. 

"Daddy, is the chicken ready yet?" Sydney whined, tugging on her father's pant leg.

Jack sighed; Sydney had just given away his secret dinner. "Go wash up, sweetie. And when you come back it'll be ready." Once Sydney had gone he pulled his wife in close by the waist and whispered,"Come with me and I'll show you what I've got," into her ear. 

"This is your big secret?" Laura asked as Jack took the chicken-
chord-en-blu out of the oven. 

"I thought it was your favorite." Jack said setting the pan down on the counter. "I made it myself."

"I do like it and I'm proud that you made it yourself; but I was thinking about something else..." 

"I know just what you mean..." He opened the fridge door and took out the strawberries and whipped cream. 

"Oh, Jack, that looks good." 

"Hmm...And this," he said taking the pie out next.

Laura's eyes lit up as she giggled; "Maybe tonight we can have a little fun?" 

"Whatever you want, Birthday Girl." Jack growled as he set the food on the table. "Ehh-htchhhh!"

"Are you okay, honey?" Laura asked as she came into the dining room behind Jack.

"Yeah, I think so. These damn flowers I bought have been bothering me."

"Why'd you buy them if you're allergic to them?"

"I didn't know when I bought them, okay?"

"They are pretty, Jack, but if they're making you sneeze we should get rid of them."

"I spent too much on these stupid things to throw them out. No, they're going to sit there and we're going to enjoy them."

"Jacky..."

"Daddy, I'm done!" Sydney announced, said taking her place at the table.

"Good girl." Jack commented cutting a small piece of the chicken and putting it on Sydney's plate. Sydney quickly picked up her utensils and got to work eating while Jack continued to cut pieces for himself and Laura. Dinner conversation mostly consisted of Sydney telling her parents what she had done that day in kindergarten. Laura listened intently to Sydney's storytelling and Jack's sniffling, turning to bless Jack when he lapsed into small sneezing fits.

After dinner, Jack brought the pie out from the kitchen and set it in front of Laura to admire.

"Daddy, for my birthday I want cake, not pie."

"You can have cake if you want, sweetie, but for Mommy's birthday we're having pie." From the last couple weeks of March to the middle of April, cake seemed to be everywhere in the Bristow house. Starting with Jack's birthday on the 16th of March to Laura's on the 22nd to Sydney's on April 16, cake seemed to be the only food they ate for a while. This year, Jack wanted to try something different. Jack opened a package of candles and set to work placing them in the pie. "Darn, I ran out. And I wasn't to 29 yet." Jack joked. He struck a match and lit the candles then went to the switch and turned out the lights. "Okay, Sydney, ready to sing?" Jack asked and saw the girl nod. "One...two...three..." 

After Sydney had serenaded her mother with the birthday song. Laura picked up her daughter and placed her on her lap. "Sydney, you want to blow out the candles for me?" 

"Yeah, I want to."

"Okay, go ahead, sweetie." She and Jack watched as Sydney leaned forward and blew out the candles. "Yay, good job, honey." Laura said kissing Sydney on the cheek.

"Ehhh- Hehschoo!" Jack sneezed, causing Laura to jump as he turned the lights back on. "I'm sorry."

"Look, Mommy, there's no frosting on the pie." Sydney pointed.

"I see that. But why would there be frosting on the pie?" Laura asked and looked at Jack.

"Sammy frosted the pie he brought into class and it made me sick," she stated.

"Is that so?" Laura chuckled.

"Ehh-Choo! Ahh-Chishoo!"

"Sounds like Daddy's sick with all the sneezing he's been doing, huh?" Laura asked.

"Laura, please." Jack rolled his eyes and Sydney giggled.

"I've got an idea, honey. Why don't you go up to your room and get your construction paper out? I'll come up in a minute to show you a neat trick I learned." Sydney slid off her mother's lap and ran to the stairs to do as her mother told her. "Come up in about fifteen minutes and we'll have something for you." She said standing. Jack nodded as she blew him a kiss from over her shoulder as she left the room.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, Jack opened the door to his daughter's room and stepped inside. "Hey, what are you two doing in here?"

"We're makin' something, Daddy. Don't look yet, though, it's not done." Sydney turned from her desk and looked at him.

Jack covered his eyes with his hands. "Oh, I'm sorry." He peeked through his fingers and winked at Laura.

Laura winked back then turned to Sydney to help her with the project. "Okay, good. Yeah, fold that piece in there...good. Okay, now you're done. Why don't you go show Daddy?"

Sydney hopped out of her chair and skipped over to her father, the craft she had been working on hidden behind her back. "What did you make, sweetie?" Jack asked looking down at her.

Sydney grinned as she looked back up at him and revealed what she had been making. "I made this for you, Daddy." She held out an origami flower made out of red construction paper, a green pipe cleaner for a stem.

"That's beautiful, honey." He picked his daughter up and carried her to the bed. He sat down at the foot of her bed and listened as she instructed him on how he could make one of the flowers himself. After she was done she handed him the flower before settling down to go to sleep. Jack took the flower from her, held it to his nose and took a sniff. "Hmm...Smells good." The scratchy paper tickled his nose, causing him to sneeze. "Ehh-Choo! Ahh-Chishoo!"

Sydney laughed. "No, Daddy, I made it so it wouldn't make you sneeze."

"Oh, well I'll have to put this some place very special then." He kissed her on the forehead and stood to leave. "You'll get her ready for bed?" He asked looking over at his wife who nodded her head. "Goodnight, baby."

"I'm not a baby; I'm a big girl."

"Of course you are. Night."

Back in the dining room downstairs, Jack put the paper flower in the vase alongside the real ones.

"That looks real good, honey." Laura said coming in the room, setting her hand on his shoulder.

"Really? I never thought I was good at interior decorating." He turned around and took her hands in his and gently kissed them. "You put her to bed?"

"Yes, she's tucked in all nice and cozy."

"Good." He went in a kissed her neck gently before quickly pulling away."Ehhh- Hehschoo! Chushoo!"

"Poor Jacky. Let's get you up to bed and I'll see what I can do for you now."

"But it's your birthday."

"I know. But that doesn't mean we both can't enjoy it, can't we?"

****

Vaughn rolled over and watched Sydney as she slept in the hospital bed parallel to his. Sydney slowly opened her eyes as if she could sense him watching her.

"Hi." She said sleepily. .

"Hey." 

"Did you close your eyes at all?" 

"On and off. You talk in your sleep." 

"No!" She exclaimed. Blushing, she covered her face with her hands."What did I say?" 

" 'Don't frost the pie!' It seemed really important." He smiled at her and they both broke out laughing 

"No idea." She sat up and pushed her hair back behind her ear. "You think we're sick?" 

"I don't know." 

"Vaughn, can I tell you something?" She asked quietly. 

Suddenly, the door opened and Dr. Nicholas stepped in, reading his clipboard. "Agent Bristow, your tests came back negative for antibodies, you're free to go. Agent Vaughn, your tests at this point are inconclusive. We did find a heightened level of antibodies in your blood stream but you could simply be fighting off a cold. We won't know for a few more hours. You'll have to stay."

Sydney stopped putting on her sweater and looked at Vaughn, concerned. "You said Sark tested patient's blood at the first sign of infection. What was the sign?" 

"Hemorrhaging from the fingernails." Nicholas said stepping out the door.

"It'll be fine. Your dad's hearing's in an hour, you should go." 

Sydney nodded and pulled on her boots. "I'll see you soon." 

"Yeah." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

September 2003

Part II: Receiving Alice

Eric Weiss sat on the ground behind a coffee table in Sydney Bristow's new apartment. He had helped her move in two days prior and was glad that she only lived a couple doors down the hall so he could have someone besides Donovan, his dog, to talk to. "That's good!" He shouted watching the tequila Sydney had tried to pour in her shot glass overflow onto the table.

Sydney laughed and drank down the shot she had just poured. "But the truth is..."

Weiss nodded and put a lime into his mouth to suck on."You are insane!"

Sydney giggled again. She and Weiss were completely drunk or pretty close to it. They had many shots, evidenced by the ten or twelve used lime quarters on the glass coffee table."Wait a minute....the truth is..."

"Oh, the truth is..." He leaned back against the couch as he downed another shot.

"The ever-evasive truth..."

" ...is that there are advantages to losing all your stuff in a fire."

Weiss shook his head, sucking the last of the juice out of his lime."How's that?"

"To dying and coming back to life..." She tried to go on while pouring another shot for herself.

"No, no, no...I'm good, I'm good..." He protested when Sydney reached over and tried to top him off. Sydney didn't listen and kept pouring. "Okay, all right... a little one...just a..."

"Think about it... all the paper... Newspaper clippings from high school, yearbooks, and sweaters I was never gonna wear again, ever, and...pictures, and.." She stopped and sighed as the tone of her voice changed,"picture frames..."

Weiss couldn't look at her, but instead looked down at his glass. "Yeah, but there's gotta be something that you had that...that it just kills you that you don't have anymore..." He stopped when he realized who she must be thinking about. Sydney made a face and retraced as Weiss went on, "I mean like a thing...like a thing, like..."

"I know what you mean..." she said sadly and looked into Weiss' eyes,"I used to have a first edition Alice in Wonderland...my mother gave it to me for my 5th birthday...Despite my roller coaster relationship with her...wherever she is...that was one of the things I sort of loved..."

Weiss sat for a moment, letting what Sydney had just revealed sink in. After a minute of silence, he grabbed the tequila bottle and started pouring what was left in the bottle into his and Sydney's glass. "Okay, this is it. The bar is closing...last drink. The...elephant in the room..."

"Which one?" Sydney asked, snickering.

"Aw, come on...tomorrow...you and Vaughn...working together..."

"With Lauren..."

"With Vaughn's wife, yes. And, let me just...say for the record that I'm gonna be your friend in there, and if you need someone to talk to, or if you need someone, like, a shoulder to cry on...I just want to be there for you."

Sydney smiled, truly touched by what Weiss had just said. "Oh, tomorrow's going to be fine." They both lifted their glassed and clinked them together in a toast of sorts. "Hmmm.... Damn it... " She whispered under her breath as she sat her glass down. Weiss shakily got up, putting his hand on the top of Sydney's head as he climbed over her and headed to the door leaving his new neighbor alone with her thoughts.

****

April 20, 1981

"Ehhh- Hehschoo! Eh-choo!"

Laura reached under the table and took her husband's hand. "Bless you, bless you."

"Thank you." Jack said, wiping his hands on his napkin then angrily stabbing a tomato with his fork. Earlier that evening, Laura had suggested that they go out to Sydney's favorite restaurant, Miceli's, for a late birthday dinner. Jack had been feeling sick but Laura persuaded him, reminding him that he had been out of town on Sydney's actual birthday a few days prior. "Ehh-Choo! Ahh-
Chishoo!"

"Okay, I think it's time to go home now."

"I'm not done with my dinner, Mommy." Sydney whined rubbing her eyes.

"We can get a doggie bag, sweetie. You both look exhausted." She looked at Sydney yawing then at Jack sniffling. "You have kindergarten tomorrow and Daddy has to get up early for work." Laura squeezed Jack's hand under the table. "Jack could you get the check, please?"

"Uh, sure, honey." Jack coughed.

"I'm going to take Sydney out to the car. I'll meet you there, okay?" Laura kissed him on the forehead, standing to help Sydney from her seat.

"Hmm, yeah. I'll be out in a minute." He rubbed his nose then put his hand in the air."Waiter, could I get a check, please?" Jack smiled politely as the waiter sat the check on the table in front of him. Jack flipped open the bill's cover and read the paper over. His smile turned into a frown as he sighed as he pulled his credit card from his wallet.

Even though the early night air was warm, Jack shivered as he exited the restaurant on his way to the parking lot. When he reached the car he found Laura bent over, fastening the last buckle on Sydney's car seat. Jack snuck up behind Laura and put his finger to his lips, signaling to Sydney to be quiet. Sydney smiled and nodded as she continued to happily suck her after diner mint.

"I know you're back there, Jack."

"Sydney, how could you!" Jack gasped, joking causing Sydney to giggle.

"I could hear you sniffling and coughing since you stepped out the door." She exaggerated, rolling her eyes. "You really should learn to be quieter." She gently closed the car door and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll keep that in mind."

The ride home was quiet; the only noise came from Sydney sitting in the back singing and humming to herself and Jack's occasional sneeze. A comfortable silence had fallen between Laura and Jack who sat listening to their daughter, turning to smile at each other whenever Sydney said something particularly funny.

After he parked in the driveway, Jack stepped out and went over to help Laura who was unbuckling a sleepy Sydney. "Why don't you go upstairs and take some pills and get ready for bed?" She asked picking the girl up, Jack shutting the door behind her.

"Okay, if we must part again for a short while." He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of Sydney's head then Laura's cheek.

After he was done in the bathroom, Jack poked his head out the door and silently crept into the hall. Only a tiny sliver of light from Sydney's bedroom shone in the dark hallway. He stealthily snuck down to her door and listened to the whispers inside. He craned his neck and looked in the room through the crack of the open door, Laura was sitting next to Sydney on the bed, quietly helping her read a book.

He saw Laura look up and into his direction. Not wanting to be seen he pressed his body flat against the wall. He felt a sneeze coming on and held his breath, not wanting to give away his position.

"I know you're there, Jack." He heard Laura say from inside the door, followed by more of Sydney's laughter.

He let go of his breath with a sneeze, "Ahh- Chishoo!" Laura suddenly opened the door and looked over at him. Even in the dark he could see the satisfied smile that shone on her face. "Ehh-Choo!"

"Bless you, bless you. What are you doing out here, honey? I thought I told you to get ready for bed."

"I did. I was just coming to check up on you guys. See what you're doing."

"We're reading." Sydney said curtly.

"You are? What are you reading, sweetie?" He came over and sat at the foot of the bed.

"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" She replied, closing the book and reading the cover before turning it to face Jack.

"I see. Is it any good?"

"I don't know yet, Daddy. We just started it tonight."

"Uh-huh. So did you have a good birthday diner?"

"Yeah, I like spaghetti;" She yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Really? Perhaps you do. I would have never guessed!" He looked over his shoulder at Laura, who was standing against the doorframe, arms crossed against her chest. "So, you must be all tired out then from school and diner and everything that's been going on then?" She nodded drowsily, the book slipping from her grasp. Jack stood and took the book from her and set it on the nightstand before tucking Sydney in tighter. "Okay then, I'm going to let you get some sleep and we'll have some pancakes in the morning. How's that sound?" He asked, Sydney mumbling a reply, already half-asleep.

He kissed his daughter gently on the head before turning off the light on the nightstand. He picked up the book and took it with him out of the room. He closed the door softly behind him and regarded Laura who was waiting for him in the hall. He walked over to her and opened the cover of the book. "'My Laura, I promise to love you until my dying breath and into eternity'", he read closing the book again.

"You were quite the poet then." She said looking into his eyes. He came closer and touched the tip of his nose against hers. "It's getting late..." she whispered.

"Yes," he swallowed

"We should get to bed..." She grinned mischievously like the Cheshire Cat from the book.

"Yeah, we should." He pulled her in for a kiss then regarded her for a moment until she locked her fingers with his and led him to the bedroom.

****

Sydney walked to her desk to collect her things for the night. Upon reaching the desk she noticed "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" sitting on top of a stack of folders. She reached down and picked it up as Weiss approached from behind. 

"It's a third edition…"

Sydney nodded and flipped through the book, on the brink tears. "Thank you."

"I was going to get the first edition…but it was, like, 40 thousand dollars…" He trailed off, a huge grin on his face. Sydney turned and gave him a big hug and a teary laugh. He rubbed her back for a minute before they let go. Weiss looked slightly uncomfortable; as if he wasn't sure what else to say. "Anyway…I'll see ya later." Sydney nodded as he walked away. When he was gone she opened the book to looked inside it again before hugging the book to herself.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

January, 2004

There was a flash of blinding white light. She found that she wasn't in pain and bleeding on the floor of the warehouse anymore, but standing in a park on a warm spring day. She looked down at her hands, a pair of younger hands that were unscathed. She was a child again, seven years old. She was wearing a powder-blue sundress with a white sash and flower around her middle. She turned around and saw a table with several white wicker chairs, with floating pink balloons tied to the arm rests, set up under the shade of the tall oak trees. 

As she started walking towards the set up her childhood friends materialized before her eyes. All the little girls were standing around the table in their best dresses as well, ribbons in their hair blowing in the light breeze. When she was close enough, the girls waved and called out to her, "Hi, Sydney". She stopped walking as her friends ran over to greet her. "Happy birthday." Once they were all together they walked back to the table, which now had a pitcher of lemonade, teacups and a cake on it. She looked down at the white cake set on the pink tablecloth; "Happy Birthday Sydney" spelled out in green frosting, surrounded by strawberries and blueberries. 

"Happy birthday, honey." She looked up to see her father standing in front of her across the table in a blue and white plaid shirt. He was young as well, his hair was brown, a few gray patches along the wave above his forehead. 

"Make a wish, Sydney," he said as she bent forward to blow out the pink candles. After they were out, her friends started to jump, cheer and clap their hands. She looked around at them and smiled, this time, though, she was taller than they were, she was older again. She looked at her father, who was still young, as he handed her a knife. "Time to cut the cake." She glanced at him quizzically. "It's all right," he nodded. 

She nodded back as she placed the knife blade to the center of the cake, which now no longer read "Happy Birthday Sydney", but "St. Aiden". As she cut down a dark red liquid that she assumed was filling, flowed out of the cut and in her head she heard a cry of pain. After the cut had been made, she looked up to find her father gone, replaced by a man in his late fifties wearing a dark suit, a cold stern expression on his face. She had seen the man before and recognized him as Andrian Lazarey, the man from the videotape, a man she had killed. 

She frowned and looked down to the cake again, this time finding it gone and replaced by a hand on a plate, Lazarey's hand, the knife she was holding severing it at the wrist, blood oozing everywhere. She gasped and dropped the knife as she took a step backward.

She blinked. Everything was gone, the table, the chairs, her friends, Lazarey, everything. She was left standing in the park face to face with her father of the past.

"Sydney...Sydney. Sydney, listen to me. You have to concentrate. It's the only way you're going to get back on track." She heard Dr.Brezzel's voice through her father. 

"I don't know how," she cried.

"Focus on the last detail you remember."

"There I am," she panted, looking past her father. He turned to see that she was looking at white unmarked van parked some fifty yards away. "Excuse me, I have to go," she said and started running towards the van...

****

April 17, 1982

Two weeks prior to her birthday Jack had been released from prison where he had spent six months in solitary confinement while a comitee investigated Laura's death. They had suspected him of conspiring with her in stealing American Government secrets; but after six long months of interrogations they had finally cleared him of any involvement. During his time in prison he had limited contact with his daughter, she was temporarily living with another CIA officer's family during his absence and was told he was on a long business trip.

When he was released he wanted to make up for lost time while at the same time unsure of what she would think of him leaving her alone for such a long time. He remembered that her birthday was coming up soon and wanted to do something special for her. He had talked to Arvin Sloane who had assured him that he knew just the thing and would take care of it himself so Jack wouldn't have to worry. Sure enough, by the time Sydney's birthday came around, everything was set.

Jack had met Arvin Sloane at the park early that morning to see what he had arranged. As Jack surveyed the area Arvin had set out, he was, for the first time in a long while, almost excited and pleased.

"You think she'll like it?" Arvin asked stepping up behind Jack.

"Yeah." He sighed, surveying the setup. "You don't know how much I appreciate all this, Arvin." 

"No problem. Thank Emily, she did most of the work. We love Sydney like a daughter, too. And like I told you before, it's the least we could do. You've been through enough lately without having to worry about things like this."

"What did I do, Arvin?" Emily said coming up behind her husband. 

"Em!" Arvin tried to sound surprised to elicit a giggle from the little girl by her side. He turned and looked at his wife then down at Sydney. "Don't you look pretty? How's the birthday girl?" 

Sydney giggled again as Arvin picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek."Good." 

"Good? That's good." He set he back on the ground. 

"Daddy!" Sydney shouted as she moved on to her father, hugging him around his legs.

"Hey, sweetie." Jack said rubbing her back. "What have you been up to?" 

"Emily took me shopping."

"Uh-huh. She did? What did you buy?" He asked looking at Emily. 

"A special birthday dress." She spun around in a circle for him to see.

"That's nice, honey. Uh, I need to talk to Emily, why don't you go over to the table and wait for your fiends?" He watched as Sydney nodded then skipped away to join Arvin at the table. 

"What's on your mind, Jack?"

He squinted up at the sky; his eyes still hadn't fully adjusted to sunlight. "You don't know how much I appreciate all this, Emily." He said softly, reaching into his back pocket and taking out his wallet. "At least let me give you a couple bucks to cover this." 

"Jack, put your money away and stop being so stubborn. We don't need it; we did this as a favor to you and a Sydney." She softly laid a hand on Jack's arm.

Jack looked inside his wallet and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper. He smoothed out the edges and let out a heavy sigh. Drawn on the paper in crayon was a picture of a stick figure family holding hands underneath a rainbow. The scribbled words at the bottom read 'Happy birthday Daddy. Luv Sydney and Mommy.' It was the birthday card Sydney had made for him the previous month. He remembered how he had cherished that paper as he spent his last remaining days in prison. He carefully folded the paper and sniffled, replacing the wallet back in his pocket. 

Jack ran a finger under his nose and looked back at the sun, hoping to clear his eyes from the tears that were gathering. "Ahh-Chishoo!" He sniffled again and looked at Emily who still had her hand on his arm, rubbing gently. "God, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me-
eh...me Eh-Chishoo!"

"It's okay." She reached up and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Arvin told me about how sick you've been lately." Jack nodded and wondered how much Arvin had actually told her about what had happened over the past six months. The truth was that the majority of that time he had pneumonia, made worse by the stress his interrogators but on him. Now that he was clear of the suspicions that had been against him, he was beginning to physically heal. The psychological pain and trauma, however, was a different story.

He looked into her eyes and felt her take his hand and lead him over to the table where Arvin, Sydney and a few of her friends had gathered. Jack swallowed as Emily made him sit down in one of the white wicker chairs in the shade. He felt uncomfortable as he watched Emily walk over to her husband and whisper in his ear. Arvin nodded and took a seat next to Jack as Emily went to talk to the group of girls that were gathered around the pinata hanging from the tree. 

"Jack, I can't begin to imagine how hard these last few months have been for you but I have to tell you something that has been bothering for some time since before Laura's death." Jack nodded slowly; not sure he wanted to hear what Arvin was going to tell him. "The government that we have been working for the past twelve years together has been hiding things from us. It's corrupt. I don't like the way things are going. I...I've found a better way. I'm thinking of leaving the CIA." 

Jack was stunned. What could have gotten to Arvin to make him change his beliefs so drastically? "What-what are you going to do." 

"I'm not sure yet. There's this new organization that I've found that has the right way of thinking, the right way of getting things done. It's freelance and still a bit unorganized but I think, in time, the organization will become a force to be reckoned with." 

"Just how big are we talking?"

"Oh, this is big, Jack. Global. Worldwide committees set up all over the world. They get together and set their own rules; try to get things done they way they want by influencing and running their own politicians." Jack frowned, something didn't seem right to him. "I have a meeting with the head of the cell here in Los Angeles next week." Arvin sat up straight and poured himself a glass of lemonade. 

"Does Emily know about this?"

"No. I'm going to wait it out and see how things go first, see if it's right to tell her, or if I even can." Arvin scratched the stubble on his chin, thoughtfully."I think you owe it to Laura to get into this with me, Jack." He took a sip of his drink and continued,"The government lied to you about Laura then they accused you, held you a prisoner, and ruined you in a sense. I don't see how we can trust them anymore, work for them anymore, now that we know the truth." Jack coughed; signaling that Emily was approaching. "Think about what I told you, Jack." 

"Hey, honey." Emily planted a kiss on her husband's cheek and sat down next to him, taking his hand. "How are you, Jack?" 

"Hmm...Same." He told her blankly, still shocked at what Arvin had just revealed to him. He glanced over as Emily leaned in and whispered something into her husband's ear and giggled. Avin smiled and whispered something back. Jack sighed and looked over at his daughter playing with her friends on the playground. 

Jack looked over his shoulder. Paranoia had become a new trait of his and he was careful to watch out and make sure no one was following. He finally relaxed and watched as one of the girl's father pushed his daughter on the swing. He turned away. It hurt him to watch any longer. Suddenly, he felt a tickle in his nose. He raised his arm, trying in vain to muffle the sneeze into the crook of his arm. "Ehhh-Sheishhhh! Ehh-htchhhh!"

Emily stopped giggling and looked over at Jack, concern reregistering on her face. "My goodness! Bless you, bless you!"

"Thank you," Jack snuffled and wiped his nose with a tissue. "Excuse me." He picked up his glass and took a sip. That's how Laura always used to bless me, he thought and shook his head, casting the memory to the back of his mind. His hand shook and he quickly sat the glass down on the table hoping Emily and Arvin hadn't noticed. He wiped his mouth with the corner of his plaid shirt and glanced over at Emily who was staring at him. "I'm so sorry." He apologized as if he had committed a mortal sin. 

Arvin cleared his throat and stood up. "Well, I think it's time for cake now, huh?" He whistled loudly, signaling to Sydney that her and her friends should gather around the table. "Emily went to the best bakery in town and got the most beautiful and delicious cake you've ever seen in your life." He opened up the pink box that had been sitting on the table the whole time going unnoticed and revealed a white cake with the words 'Happy Birthday Sydney' spelled out in green frosting, surrounded by strawberries and blueberries 

Arvin took a knife from another box and handed it to Jack. Just then, Sydney and her friends arrived and gasped at the cake. "Yay! Daddy got me a good cake." Sydney exclaimed happily. "I want to eat the flower in the corner." 

"Not just yet, sweetie. You have to blow out the candles and make a wish yet." Emily told her taking out a matchbook and striking a match. Emily lit the candles as everyone around sang Happy Birthday to the birthday girl. 

"Make a wish, Sydney," Jack said and watched his daughter bend forward to blow out the pink candles. After they were out, her friends started to jump, cheer and clap their hands. "Time to cut the cake." Jack said once they were done shouting.

****

After Sydney had been stabilized and taken from her dreams, she was put in the back recovery room. Once she could think clearly she knew she would have a thousand questions to ask. She knew what she had to do: she had to find Will, but there were other things about her past, things not from her missing two years, that stirred things inside her. When she opened her eyes she found Vaughn sitting in a chair next to the bed.. 

"Hey," Vaughn said getting up and sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Vaughn. Help me up," she asked leaning forward and kissing him gently on the lips.

"Syd..."

She smiled and traced the cleft in his chin with her thumb. "I can't help it. I just miss you. I do." 

"You know we can't do this."

"Oh, give me a break. It's a dream; we can do whatever we want."

"No...Syd."

"At least I can."

Suddenly, the door opened and her father took a step inside. "Your vitals are normal. You're going to be fine. I assume he's told you." With that he turned and shut the door, leaving the two alone once again.

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