Round 1 Story Title: A Different World
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Primeval
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nick/Connor?
Disclaimer: I only watch Primeval on TV; I don’t own it or its characters and I make no money from this whatsoever.
Spoilers: This is sort of an AU set during/after Series 2, Episode 1 (which is sort of an AU in and of itself I guess)
Summary: Nick finds his world has changed, but realizes it’s possible he’s changed as well.
Author Notes: My first time every trying this fandom... would love gentle feedback!
Bunny: #8

“Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.”
~Suzanne Necker

As Nick Cutter breathlessly hugged Stephen to his chest, his gaze dropped down to the bodiless raptor head. He quickly flashed back over everything that had happened in such a quick amount of time.

He had emerged from an anomaly to find the world had changed behind him. There was some bigwig trying to run his show and Claudia Brown didn’t even exist. How was that possible? And the only one who seemed to understand him or even try to sympathize and help him out was Connor. He really could have kissed the man, even with Connor’s comment about not doing so in public. A second later, when Connor had sneezed, Nick had been glad he hadn’t kissed him. Connor’s insistence that it had been just the same old allergies had lost some credibility when the sneezes had persisted throughout the day. Most noticeably had been when he had sneezed while trying to shoot a raptor and had mistakenly fired the tranquilizer dart into Abby instead. She’d been all right, and he had insisted he was all right as well. But all Nick had thought about was getting back to the prehistoric era and figuring out how to change his world back. Damn Stephen for being so smart and bringing him back. The two vicious raptors trying to eat them helped persuade him as well. After pulling Stephen through the portal as it was closing, Nick realized he could make do with the world around him after all. He couldn’t be responsible for losing another team member, even one he was still a bit pissed off at.

“I’ve had it today. I think I just want to go home,” Nick muttered.

“Sounds like a good idea,” Abby agreed. She was still a bit woozy after the tranq dart.

Stephen pulled away from Nick and put his arm around Abby. “I’ll drive you home,” he offered. “Luckily, the raptors didn’t get my driving foot.” He laughed. Sometimes you just had to laugh at this sort of thing. They’d just nearly been killed and eaten by raptors. They’d traveled through time portals. And they’d had to keep every bit of it a secret to the rest of the world. If you didn’t laugh at it, you could quickly go insane.

“hehShooo!”

Nick looked in Connor’s direction, concerned. “Just allergies,” Connor said. “Honest. I’ll take some extra meds and I’ll be fine.”

As they headed out of the now raptor-less mall, they paired off. And Nick was slightly surprised when Connor pulled out a set of keys to Nick’s vehicle. He noticed, too, a copy of his house keys on the keychain. Connor pressed the keyless remote to open the car door but got in on the passenger seat. Nick stood outside the 4x4, feeling confused. He opened the driver’s side door and looked in. “What’s this about?”

Connor stared back at him. “What’s what? You don’t suddenly want me driving your car, do you? You don’t even trust me with a gun.”

“For good reason,” Nick pointed out, thinking of Abby. “But…”

Shrugging, “Then let’s go home.” His face screwed up a little, his eyebrows raising as his brow furrowed. “hahhh-Shoo!” Connor scrubbed the back of his hand at his nose. “Sooner rather than later, yeah? These sneezes are getting out of hand.” He laughed. “I must be allergic to raptors.”

Nick blinked.

“Better I find out now before we open that raptor petting zoo, right?”

Nick blinked again.

“Ah, that was a joke.”

“Right,” said Nick. “I knew that.”

Narrowing his eyes, “Only you’re not laughing.”

Nick nodded. “It’s been a long day.” Nick climbed into the 4x4 and closed the door. As he put the key in the ignition, he asked, “So… you want me to drive you to your place then?”

Connor looked at him as though he’d lost his mind.

Nick cleared his throat and tried again. “You want to go somewhere else?”

The look persisted.

“My place?”

“Our place, I like to think,” said Connor, a bit self-consciously. He rubbed two fingers under his nose. “And make it quick, can you? Sniff! I mean, if that’s okay.”

“Ah, our place. Sure.”

Nick drove as if in a daze, utterly confused. Connor headed straight for the bathroom as soon as they walked in. Nick heard the squeak of the medicine cabinet and the rattling of pill bottles. He could not hear the sound of tissues being pulled from the box in there, but he assumed that had happened because Connor’s next sneeze was a muffled, “hushumm!”

“Make yourself at home,” Nick muttered.

“What’s that?” Connor called from the bathroom.

“Nothing!” Nick shouted back. He had hoped being back in the familiar setting of his home would help things, but that was not to be.  It was his flat, yes, but with a bit of a different spin to it. His furniture, photos, and things were still there. But throughout there were also other little touches that hadn’t been there before. There was a dinosaur model on top of the computer monitor. There were some DVDs he never would have bought for himself, not that he had anything against Blake 7. There were some pictures of people he didn’t know mixed in-between the framed photos of the ones he did. And there was a blanket he didn’t recognize across the back of the sofa.

Suddenly, it all made sense to Nick. “Hey, Connor?”

“ahh-Hihshoo! Sniff! Yeah, Nick?”

Connor ran the water for a few seconds. Nick waited until he heard it stop before calling out again. “I was just… trying to remember. How long have you been living here?”

“Oh a while now I guess. Ever since I had that trouble with my flat. That was back around the time when Tom… that was back when the dodos came through the anomaly,” he said. And, luckily, another sneeze struck to occupy his thoughts. “hahh-Choo! Now where did I put that extra strength stuff?”

Nick smiled. It all made sense now. Abby had probably had a bit more sense than to let Connor stay with her. Not a really big change, that. Not like an entire person going missing. He had been booted out of his flat and it made perfect sense for him to ask his old professor if he could keep on the couch for a little while. It all made sense. It made perfect sense.

Nick’s eyes were drawn to one photo in particular. He walked across the living room to get a closer look. It was a too-close zoom and slightly out of focus. But he definitely knew the people in this one. Connor’s face was on the left side of the photo, wearing a shy smile of amusement. His head was tilted slightly, as though he were being tickled. Though there was nothing to say he wasn’t being touched outside the photo frame, it was more likely that he was making the expression because Nick’s head occupied the right side of the photo and that head was busy kissing Connor’s cheek. Nick stared at his image, wondering how this could possibly exist if he didn’t remember doing it. He couldn’t even fathom doing it. Could he? There it was, a kiss staring him right in the face.

His stomach sunk. Whatever was going on here was definitely not just a professor helping out a student. It wasn’t a boss helping out his coworker. It wasn’t even a friend helping out another friend.

Deciding that the bedroom must be the place for concrete proof of whatever was going on, and hearing Connor still in the bathroom, Nick took the opportunity. Like the living room, it had been infused with things that were not his. There was a different alarm clock by the bed. There was a science book on the bedside table. The closet held clothes that were definitely Connor’s. And there was a mysterious black box at the base of the bed that stood apart from all else. Curious, Nick squatted down and opened the box. Then he froze in shock.

“I’m glad you feel like playing, after all that today,” Connor said, stumbling into the room. He rubbed a tissue at his nose. “But do you think sex could wait until I quit sneezing at least? I’m feeling a bit too miserable at the mo…ment- Hah-hahChhh!” Connor threw himself onto the bed, grabbed a pillow, and rubbed his cheek against it for comfort. He looked small and pale against the dark, forest green sheets.

Hurriedly, Nick shut the box, but it was too late as its contents were burned onto his mind: flavored condoms, bottles of lube, dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, and a handful of other things Nick couldn’t identify and wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Nick stood, felt overwhelmed, and sat back down on the edge of the bed. He did not even know how to ask the million questions that were running through his head. He looked over at Connor, who was sleeping in Nick’s bed as if it were his own. Connor closed his eyes and rubbed at his nose.

“Are you sure this is just allergies?” Nick asked.

Connor snorted with laughter. “How many times have you asked me that?”

Nick shook his head. The one time, this one time, was all he knew of.

Patting the bed beside him, Connor asked, “Do you want to snuggle?”

Nick immediately jumped up and cleared his throat. “I think I’d better, ah, go get ready for bed.”

Connor waved dismissively in his direction. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll try to stay awake until you get back.”

He took his sweet time, but that was mostly due to the fact that he had not shared a bathroom with someone in quite some time. And with Helen, at least he had been able to tell her things from his fairly easily. Which razor was his? Which shampoo? Which hair gel? Actually, he was sure that was Connor’s. And now Nick had to choose between a blue toothbrush and an identical-looking one in green, realizing it probably made no difference in the end anyway. He brushed his teeth, picturing himself kissing Connor the way he had in that photo. It could have been just a great big joke that someone got on film. It could have been an innocent roommate situation here. But it wasn’t. Somehow, some way, he and Connor were not just living together… they were together.

Nick typically slept in the nude, but he was not about to do that tonight. So he found a pair of flannel pajama pants and a soft, white undershirt he could sleep in. By the time he emerged from the bathroom, Connor was in fact asleep. The younger man was under the covers on one side of the bed, leaving plenty of room for Nick on the other side.

Standing and staring at the bed, Nick thought long and hard about what to do. If Connor were still awake, maybe he would have admitted that he had no idea what this was about, that in his world he had never had feelings like this for Connor. If Connor were still awake, they could talk about what had happened. And, like earlier, Connor would surely have understood. Climbing into bed was like admitting he felt all right with all this. Which is why he ended up on the couch for the night, hoping he could think of an excuse if Connor found him there. He fell asleep in about a second.

But he woke several hours later, startled to find a hand on his shoulder. Nick sat straight up, heart pounding and breath racing. “What?” he asked sleepily, rubbing his face. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the living room. The only light came from the digital clock on the DVD player. It was three-eighteen in the morning.

“hee-Shahh!” A sharp sneeze broke the silence, reminding Nick of where he was and who he was with.

Connor sat down on the arm of the couch and moved the blanket aside in order to study Nick. “What are you wearing?” He laughed. “Are those my pajamas?”

In the darkness, Nick looked at his outfit and then, squinting, made out Connor’s. The flannel pajama pants had different plaid patterns and Connor wasn’t wearing a shirt, but otherwise they matched.

“You always sleep nude. And why are you sleeping out here on the couch anyway?” Then, before Nick could think of anything, Connor suggested, “You gonna tell me that you fell asleep while working again?”

Nick grabbed hold of the excuse. He nodded. “Yes. That’s it precisely.”

Connor slid off the arm and onto the couch cushion. He scooted over and attached himself to Nick’s side. “Liar,” he said. “You don’t even have any papers out. “ He gestured towards the coffee table, which only held a copy of some book about creatures in the Star Wars Universe. “Were you trying to give me my space because you thought I was coming down ill?”

“Well,” Nick shrugged. “Maybe…”

Connor slid his arm around Nick. “Liar. You always hold me when I’m not feeling well. It’s gotta be something else. So what’s bothering you? And you’d better tell me the truth this time or… I don’t know, but I’ll think of something when it’s not the middle of the night.”

Nick could have come up with any number of excuses, and with the warm man snuggling into him he really should have been able to think of something good, something that would drive the man back an acceptable distance. Except that even though he wasn’t in love with the man, he did still care about him. Connor was in love. Connor would be hurt. Nick would have to be the bad guy here. “I’m so sorry, Connor. This probably won’t be easy to hear but I think I’ve got to say it.”

Connor looked up, instantly worried. Nothing good ever followed a statement like that, that was for sure.

Nick sighed, realizing he really should have eased into this better, but it wasn’t as if he had experience with breaking up with men in the middle of the night. “Do you remember my mentioning Claudia Brown?”

“Mentioning? You practically went crazy!”

“Yeah,” Nick remembered. “Well, in the world I remember she was there and we were… well, I think we were starting to seriously like each other. Romantically, I mean.”

“Oh.” Connor pulled back just a little. “Had you told me yet? I mean, the me from the world you remember?”

Nick shook his head. “No, I hadn’t told anyone.”

“Oh.” Connor put a little more space between them. “I suppose you had a good reason for that?”

This was going to be more difficult than Nick had thought. Connor was smart and should have worked it out already, but the man didn’t seem to want to see it. Nick couldn’t blame him. “Yes, because you and I did not have the sort of relationship that apparently we have now.”

“Oh.” Connor pulled back even further. But then his eyes widened and the reality of the situation struck him. “Oh!” He jumped back to the end of the couch.

With a heavy sigh, Nick rose to his feet and paced towards the door and back again. His bare feet were silent against the thick carpet, but the movement was repetitive and helped his words flow out. “This world is different from what I remember in so many ways, Connor. I hadn’t really understood how different until I was right in the middle of it. And I should have told you earlier when I realized—”

“Damn right you should have!”

“—but you weren’t feeling so hot and I didn’t know how to tell you I hadn’t been in a relationship with you.” Nick gave an awkward, forced laugh. “To tell you the truth, I thought you fancied Abby.”

“Abby?” Connor looked stunned and confused. “She’s all right and all, but she has a thing for Stephen.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Apparently, so does every other woman on the planet.”

“Possibly some of the men, too.” Connor looked a bit sheepish, though the expression did not last long. “hahh-KShoo!”

Connor’s comment certainly didn’t make Nick feel any better. Nick ran his hand through his hair then rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I care a lot about you. And I wish I could just fit right into the world the way you know it, but I can’t. I just can’t. I wouldn’t even know where to begin in something like this. I’ve never… Connor…”

Connor brought his legs up on the couch and hugged them to his chest. He rested his chin against the flannel fabric. “You don’t remember that time we made love in the lab, then. Or after Tom died when you held me tight all night long.” He wasn’t addressing Nick at all. He rubbed his nose and went on. “Or my birthday when you made me breakfast and we spent the day in bed watching Star Wars. Or, ha, that brilliant time in the back of your car when—”

“No,” Nick interrupted. “None of it. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” said Connor, his voice breaking slightly. “Or… is it?”

With a sigh, “Who the hell knows now?” He sat back down on the couch, at the opposite end from Connor. “This whole day has been madness. Though I should say yesterday, shouldn’t I? Boy it’s late. Shouldn’t we be asleep? Discuss this in the morning?”

Connor rubbed at his nose. “Easier said than done. Remember those sneezes of mine?”

“Allergies, I know, you said.”

“Yeah. But the thing is I don’t think they’re allergies after all.” Connor rubbed at the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger. Then he massaged the spot between his eyes. “Godawful pressure won’t leave me alone. I think it’s a sinus infection. Like the one I had a couple weeks ago.” His face fell. “Oh, wait. You wouldn’t remember. Well, I had a nasty one. And turns out I don’t have any medicine left. Not even the over the counter stuff that helped a little.” As if on cue, a sneeze took hold of him. He turned, sneezing freely but over his shoulder. “hahhh-Ehshoo!” Connor groaned, closed his eyes, and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Can’t sniff wait until morning. Sniff! I have to go get something for this.”

Shaking his head, Nick stood up. “No. I’ll go.”

Connor opened his eyes. “That’s really nice of you, but you don’t have to do that for me. Especially not after this. I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“I know, but I will anyway. Your Nick Cutter would have done it for you and that’s me now. Or it’s always been me. Oh it’s too late at night for me to figure this out and that’s your department anyway. So just let me go get you some medicine and you go lie back down.” Nick’s instinct was to take hold of Connor and steer him towards the bedroom. But under the circumstances, he kept his distance. The two headed into the bedroom, and Nick continued to the bathroom to change clothes. “Is this the stuff you need?” Nick called, looking at the empty bottle sitting on the side of the vanity.

“That’s it.”

Nick avoided looking at his reflection in the mirror. Every time he thought of his image, he pictured that photo, that kiss. He didn’t want to face what he might be thinking about himself. He didn’t want to cope with what he was feeling. This was just another danger coming out of the anomaly, as far as he was concerned. He had to take it one step at a time, and that meant getting dressed. Then getting Connor his medicine. Then getting some sleep.

Compared to tracking down raptors in a shopping mall, the trip to the all-night chemist was an easy one. The most dangerous things there were the blaring florescent lights. Or maybe the risk of a paper cut. It took Nick a little while to find what Connor needed. All the boxes said different things, and there were liquids and tablets and capsules and dissolving discs.  There was also a new nasal spray product that looked rather promising. Then there were different size packages—  a 24 count, a 48 count, even a 72 count. Realizing he had spent nearly fifteen minutes trying to figure out what to buy for an ill male lover who wasn’t really his lover, as if the right thing would magically make the situation better, Nick made his selection. He picked up an extra box of tissues while he was at it. The way Connor was sneezing, it couldn’t hurt. The woman at the checkout barely looked up from her magazine the whole time. She rang up the purchases routinely, waited for him to swipe his card, and then handed back his receipt. “Have a good night,” she said automatically. That statement made him smile, especially since he would never have defined this night as good before this. He couldn’t fix this situation with Connor, but with luck he might be able to help Connor feel a little better, and that was something.

When he returned home, he found Connor fast asleep in bed. The man lay on his back, a hand flat on his forehead. “Connor?” Connor did not wake. “Connor, I brought the medicine you wanted.” Still nothing.

So Nick went back to the bathroom to put the medicine away. He was somewhat amused by how much fuller the medicine cabinet was thanks to Connor’s presence in his home. He brought a cool, wet washcloth back and sat down on the vacant side of the bed beside. Gently, quite gently, he touched Connor, bringing the hand down to rest on the bed. He replaced it with the washcloth. Connor did not react to the change, but Nick pretended that it was doing some good. Whenever he had a bad headache, a washcloth always helped take the edge off.

Then Nick just sat there on the bed, staring at the man sleeping peacefully. He watched the gentle rise and fall of the chest at each slow, steady breath. He watched the man’s unmoving face for some time, aware that he had never had an opportunity to just look at Connor like this. He could study the man as long as he liked, without Connor knowing, which is what he did until his eyelids began to grow heavy and his head began to droop.

It wasn’t really a conscious decision. He was doing it before he realized what he was doing. But Nick stripped out of his clothes entirely, right down to nothing, and then he climbed into bed.