Disclaimer: Jeffrey Lieber, J.J. Abrams, and Damon Lindelof are geniuses, not me.
Author's Notes: The fic that orginally was inspired by a scene in the episode "Outlaws" and an interview that Matthew Fox had on the show Jimmy Kimmel Live. In the interview they were talking about how "realistic" the show was and why no one on the island had had sex yet. Kimmel said that even if it had been a plane full of men Jack and everyone else on the island would have already had sex with Hurley. Unfortunetly, my idea didn't turn out to be as great as I thought it was going to be and turned into this. Sorry for the lame ending. If anyone has a better idea of how to end this feel free to share as I would be happy to fix it!
Waking up in a strange place next to a strange person was nothing new to Sawyer. Neither was waking up with a hang over and not being able to recall the events of the previous night.
As the foggy haze of sleep slowly receded from Sawyer's mind as he became more and more aware that he was actually awake and not in a dream. The early morning sun warmed his face forcing him to roll over so he could savor those few precious moments that lay between sleep and wakefulness for as long as he could. He moved his body around and out of the sun, draping his arm over the body of the person next to him. Sawyer smiled to himself as he remembered the previous night he had spent with Kate next to the fire.
After spending the previous afternoon running around the jungle trying unsuccessfully to track and catch a pesky boar it was easy to get comfortable with Kate next to the fire. Sawyer had surprised even himself that night; having one too many little bottles of airline alcohol he became sloshed, resulting in the playing of a game called "I never," he had spilled perhaps a little too much personal information to Kate then he might have liked.
Slowly opening his eyes and giving them a moment to focus, Sawyer came to realize that the person lying next to him was not Kate at all. "Shit," he cursed and stood up quickly. A little too quickly as he swayed a bit, his eyes still trying to adjust to the bright early morning light. He groaned and cradled his head in his hands for a moment as a sudden wave of nausea washed over him.
Once his stomach stopped complaining from the sudden change in altitude he opened his eyes again and tried to focus on something, anything, to keep his head from reeling. Looking down at where he had laid he closed his eyes again, trying to drive the image before him away. "Shit." Okay, maybe he didn't have to focus on just anything.
Lying on the sand in front of Sawyer laid not Kate but Sayid. Sawyer shook his head. Something wasn't right. The sight in front of him did not match his memory of what had happened the previous night. What little memory he could remember from the previous night anyway. Despite his wanting to leave and wash off, curiosity and anger got the better of him as Sawyer found himself walking back over to Sayid and, lifting his foot he wanted to kick sand in the man's face. Sawyer gritted his teeth and brought his foot back down. As much as he didn't like Sayid, Sawyer didn't want to do anything to make him angry either. Even though he would never admit it, deep down in his gut, Sawyer was afraid of the former Iraqi solider. Sawyer put his foot down and after giving one final look at the man, who had no idea what had almost happened, decided it was best to walk away.
Sawyer's head was reeling with the possibilities of what might have transpired the previous night. At the time he thought knew what he was doing. He was sitting by the fire having some drinks with Kate. Kate had never been to Disneyland and she had never had a one night stand but she had killed a man. Sawyer groaned as a new wave of nausea washed over him. Stopping dead in his tracks, he massaged his temples in an attempt to clear his head. Truth be told he could remember very little about what had happened around the fire. He needed to get his mind back together and sort things out. He needed to find something to help his hand over. Looking around he noticed that he was alone on the beach, which was just as well as he didn't think he could face anyone at the moment. Putting his head back down, Sawyer continued his trudge into the remote jungle.
After a while of wandering around in the jungle, Sawyer found his throat had become quite dry and scratchy. Having let his feet do the navigating while he thought Sawyer was not surprised he had no idea where he was when he finally stopped and took a look at his surroundings. About ready to turn around and go back the way he had come, Sawyer heard the all too familiar sound of a boar squealing. At hearing the sound, Sawyer gasped and looked around frantically for something he could use as a weapon. Finding nothing but grass and mud around him Sawyer decided to make a run for it into the brush.
He ran from the sound into the thicket of vines, trees, and bushes farther and farther into the dense forest until his chest heaved and constricted tightly around his lungs. There were leaves and twigs stuck in his hair. "EhhShhiff! hehhChh!" He sneezed as he ran, cobwebs and god knows what else clinging to his body making him itch. Only stopping when he was out of breath and could run no more did he realize where his feet had taken him in the mad rush to escape. He was now in a clearing he had been to before and knew: the watering hole near the caves. Wiping the sweat from his brow and quickly looking around to make sure no one else was around, Sawyer knelt by the pool. Dipping his cupped hands into the cool water, Sawyer took a much needed drink to clam his nerves and appease his aching throat.
"Save some for everyone else."
Busy taking gulp after gulp of water, Sawyer failed to notice that he had been joined in the clearing by another person. Sawyer looked over his shoulder to find Jack standing in front of a tree where he had hung a small broken piece of a mirror, razor in hand.
Surprised, a sudden urge to sneeze over took him and he paused from his drinking. "Ehh-Shh! hehhh-IHShh! EHshhhhh!" Not wanting to get a lengthy diagnosis or reprimand from Jack he decided it best to try to hold off the "What's it to ya, doc?" Sawyer said, watching as Jack scrapped the stubble off his neck. "Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink."
Jack laughed as he flicked some cream off his blade. "You're going to get a stomach ache from drinking so deeply so fast."
A stomach ache was not an ailment Sawyer wanted to add to his list of problems at the moment so he stopped drinking, opting instead to find something to eat.
"Have a rough night?" Jack asked as Sawyer made his way past him.
Sawyer's face burned as anger raged inside him. "Since when is everything I do headline news?" He spat.
Jack seem to pay no attention. "You know I had been looking for that liquor cart. It doesn't surprise me that you were the one who found it though." Jack heard Sawyer make a half-grunt, half-laughing noise. "If your hang over is really that bad I would suggest sleeping it off."
"Right..." Sawyer had no real intention of listening to the good doctor's advice but by the time he reached his tent the make shift bed inside looked so inviting that he laid down and was almost asleep when he heard glass clanging. Turing his head around to get a better look at the intruder Sawyer found Kate looking though his supplies.
"And what do you think you're doing?" Sawyer asked, rubbing his nose.
"Carte blanche. I thought we had drunk it all last night but you were holding out." Kate said, coming up with a small bottle of champagne and waving it in Sawyer's face. "You said anytime I want something from your stash I get it. No questions asked." Kate looked down and grabbed a small brown bottle of medicine.
Sawyer straightened up, the familiar coming back to his nose. "Yeah, and you said you'd help me track that boar." He made a grab for the bottle but it was just out of his reach. He groaned. "Not now. You haven't done anything for me yet except leave me when I was drunk and disoriented."
"Oh did I do that?" Kate played innocent. "I'm sorry but you looked so cute there on the beach next to Sayid. And you know, let sleeping dogs lie and such." She laughed.
"You bitch. I might of guessed you had something to do with that." Sawyer growled. "We didn't do anything...Did we?"
Kate gave him a half-smile. "You don't remember? Oh, God. That's too great." She burst out.
It was true that there was no way that Sawyer could deny that he had no recollection of what had happened. In the absence of a retort he let his guard down for a moment and let the tickle take reign "Hehh-Chhhh! Ehhh-ehhHuhshh!" Not wanting to discuss his vulnerabilities anymore Sawyer changed the subject to something a little less embarrassing. "Hey, how come you don't have a hangover? You drank just as much as me if not more last night."
"I guess I can hold my liquor better than you." Kate winked and skipped out of the tent.
Had he been in better condition Sawyer might have run after her and grabbed her before she could get away. In his current state, however, all Sawyer wanted to do was sleep off the pounding in his head and the tickle in his nose. He would get back at Kate eventually. Especially after having been given some ammunition from the night before he was going to make sure of that.
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